I'm On The Karma Payment Plan

a sad post from michael

2006-04-06T22:20:41Z

The lovely Maria is no longer with us. An automobile accident removed her from us early Monday morning. There will be a viewing/celebration service to remember her wonderful life and to mark her death. The service will be at Hartselle Heritage Funeral Home, Saturday at 2 or 3, and if anybody wishes to send flowers, their address is 1401 Main Street, East, Hartselle Alabama 35640.

Again, we are all saddened by her loss, and are poorer for her passing. Feel free to post here memories of her, ways she has touched your life and made the world a beeter place.

You know you're in the south when:

2006-03-24T17:05:28Z

You overhear a mother complaining about the tanning salon not letting her 11 year old daughter tan.

She's 11! It's not like she's 8!!

friend of redneck woman says, Oh, that's just ridiculous!

Down here in the south they don't care much for black people, but an 11 year old with artificially tanned skin is fab. Go figure.

mariapapita @ 2006-03-20T18:35:00

2006-03-21T00:43:07Z

Me: A 5 day coma sounds so restful right now

Him: But you've already tried that and found it not to your liking.

I'm so close to finishing.
I'm running out of steam

I better not sabatoge myself.

Listen self, just do this work. Go ahead and get it over with and maybe, just maybe, you'll have a day left over and be able to enjoy a little slice of your spring break.

eh.

Counting chickens

2006-03-20T16:33:39Z

The interview went AWESOME.

I was informed that there were over 200 applicants for the position (whoa) and they picked the top 14 to interview. That includes me. Awesome. The next stage is picking the top 5 of those 14 to interview again and the entire board will pick the top candidate for the position. There were 6 people interviewing me. It was a little intimidating at first but I actually enjoyed it. The only rough spot was my inexperience with fiscal management but that is something that can be taught and learned.

The schedule is set for the next round of interviews to be held at the end of next month and the hire date is June 1. That would be PERFECT timing. It would give me 2 weeks to unwind from school and then I could start work. Wow.

Update

2006-03-14T21:04:56Z

The Vagina Monologues went very well. We sold out both nights and raised over $5,000 with the play alone.
If you missed it, you missed one of the best things to happen in Huntsville this year. Shame on you.

The cast:

We also had our largest drag show yet. Over 200 people came and we raised almost a thousand dollars. Again, if you missed it, you missed an awesome time. I was all dressed up and ready to get out there and shake my (wo)man parts for charity when I had a seizure. It's lame and I hate my body and my mind for not being able to function properly. At least I didn't have a seizure and pee on myself during the show. As always, Michael is a prince and takes exceptional care of me.

We are considering names for our drag troupe (JJ came up with 'The Rocket City Kings.' Awesome) and taking the show on the road. What do you think?

Also, the interview is this Friday and I've been researching the title. Executive Director.

I think I'll just drop dead of a heart attack if I get it.
Physical preparations should not be overshadowed by mental prep.
The facial cleansing and teeth whitening have begun.

Wish me luck!

The National Symposium on Child Abuse starts tomorrow and I'm excited to be a part of it again this year. A lot of prep goes into it and it draws professionals from around the world. It's an amazing thing. If you're local, consider donating some time (the thing the kids need the most) as a mentor or to NCAC to complete projects and do community outreach. You'll thank you for it. ;)

mariapapita @ 2006-03-09T15:39:00

2006-03-09T21:39:55Z

http://hubblesite.org/gallery/album/

I could stay in there forever.

eh

2006-03-08T22:54:18Z

I am always in pain.

I. can't. take. it.

I have an interview for an awesome position, next Friday.
Executive Director of a local agency for abused and neglected children.

I'm dissatisfied with the way things are.
The way I feel they will always be.

I feel paralyzed to change them.

I'm confused about what I want.
I'm embarrassed of the things I want.

I need a solution.

mariapapita @ 2006-03-03T13:01:00

2006-03-03T19:09:10Z

The Vagina Monologues

This weekend at the Flying Monkey
Saturday 8:00
Sunday 2:30

Bring the beverage of your choice and enjoy the show!

Come early as we plan to sell-out like last year!

We have a really talented cast this year and I'm excited to narrate.
Come support the cause!

I keep paying for my friendship with you

2006-02-24T20:56:02Z

But, fyi, it's not you, it's him I'm afraid of.

Nightmares for weeks:
http://www.maskon.com/marti/gallery.htm
http://www.maskon.com/kerry/masks/torso.htm

When does the mask come off?

Also, my health sucks but I'm not going to die any time soon.
Don't worry too much about me.

Someone offered to buy my medicine for me.
People can be good.

I can be good.

Our House, Part 2

2006-02-06T17:08:12Z

Well, Michael forbade me going to school today so I'm sitting here at home, feeling like a loser. I had a seizure last night on the elliptical machine and busted my ass. Although I rested last night he wanted me to sit on my butt today too. I'm lonely, anyone want to come visit? Last night Kali also spotted a dog that looked a lot like Shiva. She cried and cried until M let her out. It wasn't Shiva, of course, and she's sad today.

The zits on my forehead have not gone away. I think I'll take the potato peeler to my forehead and just get rid of the top layer of skin. Yuck. I wouldn't mind so much, but they hurt. Ouch.

Since everyone liked the sneak peek into the house so much (and since I was so generously given a pro flicker account) I thought I would show you the not-so-nice sections of the house. Real people live here and we are not always clean ;)

Ity-bity kitchen. Italian cooks need space and in our next home the kitchen is going to be *HUGE*
Also, please note the wine bottle holder on the upper left, given to us by Chris. Isn't it cute?

However, the view from the kitchen is nice and because of the privacy nude cooking is always allowed.

Messy laundry room

My little closet. In all fairness, it's of average size but I have too much stuff.

Whoa. We don't even talk about the office in polite company. This is where we live most of the time and keeping it clean simply isn't possible.

Oh, and watching Michael's team win last night wasn't so bad with Tivo.

I guess that's all for now. I'm going to go veg out for half an hour. Hope everyone is having a good day!

No, really.

2006-02-02T23:10:52Z

I am secure enough to share horrible photos of myself with you.

Last week my sister and I got in the hot tub and goofed off for a while.
We don't care if it's January, so there.

For your enjoyment:

Don't I look like I'm going to barf in the hot tub?
Also, my forehead zit has multiplied. This is getting out of hand.

Where we live and love

2006-02-02T23:00:12Z

I would like to share our home with you. It isn't a big place but it's filled with the smells of Italian food and the sound of kisses and the warmth of the fireplace.

Oh, and the licks of a very enthusiastic dog.

Please note the lovely flowers and card from hubby (isn't he sweet?)

Paranoid Android

2006-02-01T17:46:29Z

Things have been hectic lately and I have a ton of photos to share as soon as I get a few minutes at home in front of the computer (hopefully tomorrow). Michael has been taking some really neat photos too. I like the camera a lot but I'm still sad I only have a 3x capability. It's a bit limiting when it comes to taking photos of people out and about, unawares. That may sound a little creepy but I love it. I also love the everyday_people community. Awesome stuff there.

As far as the recent poll, some of the answers were kept private but I wanted to share some of the neat responses. The question that elicited the responses below was, "What does your vagina smell like?"

musk & fruit
fresh baked bread
salty
melted frost
ocean
normally kinda sweet, but when i'm on my period it smells like popcorn
tangy
Very slight odor, I think it smells sweet
apple juice
damp

It also really pleases me that we, as women (not that this sample is representative of all women, by any means) are so much more comfortable with our bodies than our mothers or grandmothers were. I think it's great we are looking at it, exploring it and are familiar with the smell. You might be hard pressed to find a woman in her 60s or 70s who had ever looked at or stimulated her own vagina.

Speaking of vaginas. Let's talk about mine. I had an appointment at PP to try to get my hands on some more Nuvorings. The cost for the visit and ring were to be $50. Fine, we don't really have a choice (abstinence in marriage sucks, especially when the lovin' is soooo good) so I suck it up and go. Well, after filling out the paperwork and waiting for an hour I am informed that they can not give me BC because I am epileptic and have syringomyelia. Whatever, fine. I'm ready to leave and I'm informed the cost of filling out the damn paperwork and waiting an hour is $25. Grrrrr. I should have fought that but the lexipro I've started taking again (leftover from when we had insurance) has made me very....even...and not anxious or easily upset. Groovy. I need something to counteract the *last semester* stress I'm feeling, trust me.

Also: Bill can't tell a fib about getting a BJ from Monica without getting in big trouble but George can get away with all this? I'm confused.

Ladies only please....

2006-01-19T16:31:59Z

View Poll: Ladies Only!

SHAT

2006-01-19T15:19:13Z

I was working last Friday and with a jolt, "woke up" to feel something cold on my ass. I reached my hand around and realized I had shit my pants. I grabbed the phone and waddled to the bathroom and called Michael. I felt dizzy and funny and knew I had had a seizure. I've never shit myself before. Good times.

Michael came and saved the day. What a wonderful hubby. I'm glad I was the only one there.

Today I'll be busting my arse working on this paper.
Entertain me?

I don't deserve it!

2006-01-12T20:38:15Z

no1topaz and her hubby just bought me a pro account with Flickr.

And I mentioned it before, but it needs repeating, Amanda sent me the PostSecret book for Christmas.

I'm not sure what I've done to deserve this kindeness, friendship, and love, but thank you!
Maybe it's not about deserving it, or earning it...maybe there really are nice people that do nice things for no reason, other than to be kind. Crazy.

Thank you!
I love you guys!!!

Train Station People

2006-01-12T19:46:26Z

Ok, this is it, I promise.
There are interesting people at the station...

This gentleman was washing cars for spare change outside the station. He saw me snapping photos and wanted one himself. I thought, Only in Alabama would you find a disenfranchised black guy with one arm, wearing a cowboy hat, asking me to take his picture...

This kids parents were daring him to play on the tracks. It was funny and wierd.

I just like the way this guy looked. I wish I could have zoomed a little more.

Train Station Photos

2006-01-12T19:09:13Z

My sister took the train back from VA after the funeral and I went to pick her up. I arrived a little early and the train was a lot late so I wandered around the couple of blocks near the station and took a couple of pictures of nothing in particular.

I'm a little bummed because I had a few more that I would have rather shared but I uploaded these to Flickr first and now I've reached my free account limit. So much for picture posting...Michael will make it all better tonight, I'm sure.

I just like these buildings. The window in the upper left is creepy and had bars on it but I couldn't zoom in...

Making an urban tree a little more festive

christmas downtown

This is attached to the train station, and I believe may have once been the waiting area or something like that.

Interview Update

2006-01-12T16:30:38Z

Good Morning. I'm feeling snarky today.
Plus, that zit on my forhead is very owie. Kiss it?

The interview went well and my outfit was super cute. The interview was on the 7th floor of the Amsouth building in a corner office. I had a hard time concentrating because the view was just amazing. Michael says it's the most expensive real estate in Huntsville. I believe him. Anyway, long story short: it wasn't what I thought it was and I don't have a 100k job yet. Grrrrr.

Bright side: I was told I had excellent interview skills and I got some practical advice and a lovely conversation in the best spot in town.

Michael and I have strange schedules this semester but it allows me to spend lots of time with the lovelies in my life, like Emily, seen here looking gorgeous.

We brought back the camera we bought at Costco, like 4 years ago, got what we paid for it, and upgraded for the same price to a Lumix. It's nice but I would still like a camera I could manually adjust. This camera is only 3x and I need to crawl up someones butt to take a photo. Michael says I'm picky.

Note: The ease with which I can take and post photos with this new camera is going to turn me into a total picture posting freak. You have been warned.

Could it be?

2006-01-09T15:17:16Z

So, I was messing around last Wednesday, looking at potential jobs for after graduation. I put my resume out there for a few, knowing that I couldn't really get them. The jobs I was looking at were in the 90-125k/yr range. Right after I get out of school I expect (and reasonably so) to make around 50-60k to start, not 100.

Anyway, I got a call on Friday requesting an interview today.

Well, thank you, I'm flattered. I do hope I made it clear on my CV that I will not have obtained my Masters degree until May... I say.

Yes, that was very clear. says Mr. Big-shot's appointment maker.

Wow. How cool would it be to secure a job making 100k BEFORE I graduate.

Awesome.

Also:

"Dear Wow,
I think I've fallen in love with you. When we're apart, I can think of no other. My wife is against our love, she says it's unnatural, but she doesn't understand.
I love you Wow.
Will you be mine?"

All my love,
Michael

mariapapita @ 2006-01-06T09:44:00

2006-01-06T15:49:52Z

http://www.wishesandrainbows.org/

This is a site for people with SM. They list several of the meds I'm *supposed* to be taking as meds they will pay for. I'm submitting an application for meds. Wish me luck!

SarahInParadise@sbcglobal.net

You can tell how good it's been by the way you smell after.

2006-01-06T14:34:31Z

Gah. I feel like a winner and a loser at the same time.

Accomplishment: hour and a half workouts 5 days a week.

Loserville: I would WAY rather goof off all day than type one page of this paper.

It's difficult to do anything when I know my pal KB is just chilling in the other room.
Talk about a motivation thief.

Ok, the holiday season is over so why are people STILL talking about "Merry Christmas" vs. "Happy Holidays"
?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

While my grandmother was here she witnessed me filling out a card for our mail carrier. It said "Happy Holidays." Well she scoffed the card and made a comment about me not celebrating the *Reason for the Season* (what, buying stuff?) and that I shouldn't give out cards that don't say Merry Christmas.

I got pretty miffed and tried to discuss it with her, to no avail. She thinks I'm a little nuts with my conspiracies. The more we talk about this BS the less we talk about the things that matter, right?
What else is there? you ask, well, I'd like to talk about Karl, Tom, Georgie, torture, Iraq, and my budding Chia Pet, among other things.

Last year, I think the card I gave my grandmother actually said, "Seasons Greetings."
I didn't hear a word about it.

When we went with my grandmother to church on Christmas morning, the pastor started out the sermon talking about this nonsense. Can you believe it?!?!
I almost jumped out of my seat and walked out. I won't be going back there.
It makes Christians look like total and complete fools and they don't even realize it.
Do they?

Sorry if I offend but it's true.
Is there nothing better to discuss?

And now that the Holidays are over, SHUT UP ABOUT IT!

I guess I might be wrong. This may be the most pressing issue of the day.
Maybe Jon Stewart is right, "Every time you say 'Happy Holidays,' an angel gets AIDS."

Ginger root, rosebud, and the art of procrastination

2006-01-06T01:06:54Z

Soooo...I realized I never did post about how the ginger root went.

Edited for your delicate eyes:
from the email I sent out the next morning to a close friend

I came home to find a piece of ginger root under the Christmas tree, he's so funny.

We started off by having nice hot showers and then lighting candles to set the mood....matchstick size piece and inserted it into ..... While that was simmering he rubbed ........piece around my ........ and then traced it to my .......... where I really started to feel the tingle. He massaged my ........with it and then .......... into ... and .......... me with it. As I neared my first ....... he gently ........ ginger around my ..................... but I was too resistant ...................... for a little while and then very shallowly. We were about 15 minutes into the "figging" when all of the tingling (from my ...., ....., ......., ....... and ...........) combined to form one glorious sensation! I felt like my whole body was on fire (in a good way) and when he went ....... on me I actually ........ like you wouldn't believe. I had the most intense and fabulous ....... (many many ......). After I was done we made love ........................oh I don't even know.

What do you think? I think you should try it. Soon.
WARNING: Ours were about 2 weeks old and a bit past their prime so they had lost some of the potency and I think that was a good thing. It was still really intense.

Can we go build a little cabin in there somewhere?

I'm making some good progress with the paper. 11 pages down, 30 to go. Well, maybe just 20-25. It will still be 10 pages before I can tell. Anyway...My life is this research right now and I'm not even all that pleased with my progress.

I have so much more to write about. Stuff of substance, I think. I just can't find the right words to express myself lately. I make a butchery of all my conversations, in real life and online. Sometimes, I even find the right words, in my head, but there's something preventing me from saying them. I'm sabotaging perfectly good conversation with my silence, or worse, my fumblings.

I'm just burnt out. Last semester-itis?

I've been doing some job hunting. It's so strange to search for the kind of jobs I'm qualified for....It's like, it shouldn't be right. Director of what? (kidding)
I told Michael that this silly little piece of paper shouldn't entitle me to this kind of power, status, and ability to advance. It seems unfair.

Go back and get your education.
No one can ever take that from you (my theme for this evening).

I'm going to go veg-out now.

mariapapita @ 2006-01-04T13:03:00

2006-01-04T19:15:52Z

Happy New Year!

*We got straight A's! Both of us. We are very smarterest.

*We got way more than we deserved for Christmas. Amanda even sent me the PostSecret book. So cool.

*We own both of our vehicles. This means: No More Car Payments!

*Still no sign of Shiva. I think it's time to take down the fliers around the house (they make me very sad).

*We are very loved and very lucky to have such wonderful friends.

Mr. Pillo Part IV: The Foot Fetish

2005-12-14T14:46:19Z

Last night was lovely. I got to hang with the coolest people in Huntsville, Alabamy, and try-outs went very well. Before we began Leslie announced there was a director in the audience who was looking for talent for a production. He was wearing a sundance hat and was one of 3 guys there (and the only one over 30) so he wasn't too difficult to pick out. He came up to me after we were finished and introduced himself. He asked why he hadn't seen me in anything and I was all: Uh...I don't know. He said he thought I would love what they were working on and that the audience would love me. I blushed and was flattered. I'd be lying if I said the idea of doing "real" theater didn't thrill me. He asked if he could contact me and I said, Yes, please do.

Now we'll need to wait till January and then she'll hold another audition for the people she's selected out of this first round of try-outs. Michelle was sort of upset that so many actual *theater people* (that actually belong to acting troups, and know how to act!) were there. There were a lot of people trying out for a limited number of parts. I can't say with great confidence that I'll get one. We'll see. It's being done a little differently this year but it'll be good I'm sure. It was strange hearing people read for our parts last year. Strange to hear other people's interpretation of the monologues...

*************************************************************
I started to get a little jealous. Why should Fritz have all the fun?!

Mr. Pillow is a good little submissive.
He bows before my beautiful feet.

He loves the taste of sleazy shoes and sweaty toes.
Yum.

(Note: When we took these I had just twisted my ankle the night before, ouch! I didn't realize how swollen it was at the time. You can really see it in the bottom photo.)